kate+speaks

nice… but unapproachable?

that is what i am. i’ve figured myself out once again.

there is an invisible sign in front of me where people just stop.

jeff doesn’t have that sign because he is capable of making everyone laugh. jeff makes it look like ANYBODY can be his friend.

apparently i don’t carry that trait.

sadface.

i put people off.

i honestly have no real idea why. i’d find it more comfortable if people felt this way because they were intimidated by me, but i don’t think anyone can really be intimidated by me.

i’m not the intimidating type.

ugh. sadface.

good news today…

i found out that i get to go back to hawaii next august for the jeff’s parents 25th anniversary.

my twenty fourth will be spent in paradisooo. lovely.

=)

i’m at school, in the union, by myself, listening to cerritos all stars, thats why i have hella to say.

lately i’m having a really hard time staying still while listening to music. i can never really stay still to a beat, its subconcious… but man… when i really like the song i’m practically dancing in public. its getting pretty weird, cause yeah i know, everyone is not hearing the same thing i am cause i have headphones on.

i seriously can’t help it though. my head can’t stay still… then the shoulders come in…

p.s. i’m still upset that i can’t see john legend on the 18th.

me being serious cause i had an epiphany:

there are some types of men that i will never respect. this mainly comes from the fact that i just can’t understand their behavior and plainly, i just find it disrespectful.

1. the guy that refers to women in general as “bitches.”

ok yes, i know women do this to other women, but more often, i hear this from males. i’m not quite sure what it is… or why they have to refer to women in such a derogatory sense, its just not right. unecessary in fact. call a woman a bitch if you truly feel that way… but just to refer to one as a bitch off the bat is ridiculous.

if all women are a bitches… then so is your mom.

have some respect for the opposite gender.

2. the guy that spits unecessarily.

ok so this one is real personal preference, not all females may be as disgusted by this habit as much as it bothers me. but more often.. man no. 2 is the type that does the same thing as man no. 1. i know i don’t kick it with guys who spit every 20 feet. jeff, jun, paul, jay, rich, rob, vince.. i’ve never seen them spit while walking with me. so why must some guys spit disgusting blobs of whatever while i pass them or walk behind them on a walkway?

i don’t get it. hah, they’re the types of dudes that always got that swag going on too. walking hella slow like one foot is broken, so they drag it along.

3. the guy who always has to act hard, all the damn time.

i mainly hear/see this type of guy through jeff cause he gets shit from these types. they’re the kind who think they’re mature and grown because they don’t have an ounce of a sense of humor left in them. please.

these are the kind of guys who like to put people below them instantly. they like to feel hardcore by dissing other guys they feel are below them. which honestly, i think is pretty insecure. pathetic actually. its sad how they always think its the other way around.

i’m a woman with strong opinions and i admire any man that can fully respect this… i believe that my whole life up until this point i have surrounded myself with males that have lead good examples and allowed me to master my judgement in character in the opposite sex. they have let me grow to be the independent thinker that i am. even if they didn’t know… they always served as positive reinforcement, serving as the strong male influnce that helped shape my personality.

a big thank you to the real men who have influenced me.

i want this shirt:

its not that i go bowling… i just like that fact that it cusses… and ITS REAL. everyone is getting shirts with vulgarity… personally, i don’t think i can pull it off, but i just want it. seriously…

“fuck it dude. lets go bowling.”

what else do you need to say?

sometimes… thats all.

something i believe everyone in the whole wide world can relate to:

a quote from “the science of sleep”

“in dreams emotions are overwhelming.”

so… you know i’m broke when:

- i can’t up-keep my appearance; i had to dye my hair black, cause the blond was too much to handle, salon-wise. i hate the black. i haven’t been shopping since… when? can’t remember. i haven’t replaced my old make-up, even though my favorite shadow shattered into a million pieces and my concealer has separated (i threw it away). mac is expensive. i can’t afford it right now.

- jeff and i practically have a $5 (each) limit for food. we’re eating out of taquerias and fast take-out right now.

– i am avoiding unnecessary trips to: target, valley fair, and any forever 21.

- i am avoiding: day excurisons (i.e. daytrips to the city), driving to the bay, any unnecessary driving because of gas. basically i’m avoiding outings in general cause it involves: 1. an activity that usually involves money, 2. driving = gas, 3. eating out, and sometimes you really don’t have any control of where everyone wants to go. you know how it is… “going out” gets pricey.

- besides calling myself broke, i’m trying to build back my savings cause i have no idea what i’m going to do for money after may 2007. hopefully i can live off of graduation money until i land a job. cross fingers.

later.

but before i go…

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE check this out:

cnn: the elderly get risque.

brand new vices:

- nonfat mochas. its a new (and stupid) $3 and 250 calorie habit. i got to admit, the coffee helps.

- HELVETICA NEUE. i’m scared for you UNIVERS, the neue’s got “thin” and “ultra light,” and personally, i really digg that type of shit. helvetica neue’s family is the laxamana’s only competition. (if you understood that joke, please email me at creyes@gmail.com)

yeah yeah… that last one was a design nerd thing.

OHH YES, ONE MORE THING…

ANNOUNCEMENT:

i despise Paul Khessler Abadilla for being in the 212 area code this week. DESPISE.

things i’d like to say:

we’re listening to wu tang on blast. it makes me feel pretty hardcore, like no one can mess with me.

go ahead. laugh.

anyways…

so the morning after i acted like tough shit, a “bee killer” and all… guess what happened? …the house got attacked by a battallion of ants. God likes to mess with me like that, it keeps me in check.

its true.

its getting cold now. my bones can’t take it sometimes… i find it harder to breathe when its cold. i sound like an old lady, but its true. i’m super sensitive to temperature. maybe its us philippine born babies… i understand how the rest of y’all can hang when its 40 degrees outside, BUT ME… I WAS BORN IN TROPICAL WEATHER.

i’m all about warm climates.

alright alright.. the man is buggin…BACK TO WORK.

my parents have two grown-adult children now.

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY TO MY SISTER!!!