kate+speaks

when you try to go all night without sleeping there is a point in time where you just want to give up and say fuckit, at that point nothing really matters and you just deal with it later.

but most of the time you stay up because you know its the right thing to do, time is limited and the clock is ticking.

i remembered why my class was so depressed the first time we had gwen. staying up all night is not healthy at all. sometimes its pointless because the quality of work is severely sacraficed for the mindset of just “trying to get shit done.”

so what the hell do you do?

you don’t sleep and you get shit done.

in a month i will be done with college. i will be done with HOMEWORK. i HOPE i can leave the anxiety behind, but i know even more difficult tasks are on their way.

i realize that life just gets more and more difficult, i’m lucky that at the moment–my biggest stress factors include homework/grades/my portfolio. eventually i will have to deal with even bigger life decisions, but whatever… thats not my time yet.

i am finally beginning to savor that i am almost a college grad.

one more month and i’m fking celebrating.

ordered.

this thing better get me a job. we all know its what’s inside that counts…

my mind is thinking of 5 completely separate things at the moment. it won’t stop, even when i am sleeping.

i will be so very happy after may 23.

abunchofthingsonthetopofmyhead.

- i haven’t been home on a saturday in sacto in a long time. i usually find an excuse to drag jeff out of the house. anyways, after doing a whole lotta things, i actually did some homework tonight. amazing.

- we went to joanne’s fabrics today and bought a dress pattern for a dollar. dollar clothing is magic right now, YEAH i find clothing for a dollar… i’m hoping i can either use it for a bridesmaid dress for jeff’s ‘rents 25th, or just have a black dress made to take back home.

i’m going for the black one in the middle. if i can use it for the anniversary, its going to be turqouise.

- the stupid homeowners assoc. gym took away my membership because this house is considered a “rental” even though the homeowners are my parents. there is so much bullshit regulation with the homeowners assoc. here. anyways, i need to get back to the gym, but its not like i have time anyways. life is too hectic right now.

- stress has a tendency to pass itself around like a whore. when the person you love is constantly stressed out, it will eventually get to you too. its a good thing i have low blood pressure.

- i have comprised a list of things i want to do when i have time. they include the following.

1. get some “punch-you-in-the-face-and-knock-you-out-arms.” [no.1 reason why i need to get back to the gym]
2. paint, not just high school clouds and sunsets this time.
3. i have a dream to learn how to sew, so i can edit clothes myself, but i highly doubt this one will work out for me.
4. i can’t bake, i never will, i’d rather buy stuff from some amazing place. its not relevant to this list but i wanted to announce that.
5. learn to bartend. in all honestly i RARELY drink, and if i do you will NEVER find me drunk. most of the time i think alcohol is a waste of my money [cause i make so little, thats why] and i lose SO MUCH COORDINATION its ridiculous. it is the most difficult thing to dance and be buzzed, not joking. HOWEVER, i don’t mind buying drinks for others [at dnbs when they're only $3] or making them and passing them around. plus, i love patronizing drunk people when i’m perfectly sober, except my friends. although, sometimes i want to kick the friends who have had too much to drink, except jun cause he is the funniest man ever with alcohol in his system. some people have no idea how annoying they are to someone sober. anyways, yes i’d love to bartend on the side after i start my real career.

i need sleep now.

jeff has brought it to my attention that i have two very different personalities.

the first is a reserved girl who tells you nothing about her business and you have no idea what is really going with her. she wears a hat with a hoodie and she’d rather just do what she needs to do and blend into the crowd. because of this behavior most think of her to be unapproachable, snobby even. many times, she just has too much pride.

the second girl is fun, funny, and great company. 90% of the time that girl writes this blog. there are only about 10 people in the world who see that girl more than the first girl. plus, the second girl is super unconventional, she’s gotten multiple comments on how she is “different.” she makes up moves on the dancefloor and she’ll fall asleep with a hulkhand on.

i must admit, the second one is buckets of fun, but the first one gets her shit done. the second one, her heart is still in the bay, and the first one is in sac to succeed.

so there you have it…

i am two different people.

i am sofa king tired. my body is basically telling me its 3am, even though its not even 1.

long ass day.

p.s. “grandma’s boy” is the funniest shit i’ve seen in a while. the hype was true yo. THE HYPE WAS TRUE, no joke.

my brain has officially shut down for the rest of the day and i still have a few hours at work.

my biggest pet peeve is when people are inefficient. if i have a meeting at 2, i have to take lunch at 1:30. if its already 1:20, then obviously someone cannot buy me lunch by 1:30. DAMNIT, then i should’ve just made my lunch and brought it to work today.

i’m efficient as f_ck, except when i really don’t care, then its different.

UGH. I HATE INEFFICIENCY.

i like to relax on my thursday nights.

i got caught up on the “i love new york” reunion, and apparently tango dropped new york after he saw her insulting his mama on air. the entire show was drama, stupid fake-reality shows.

WHAT THE F_ HAPPENED TO KWELI’S “EARDRUM?”

i have the feeling i will be very disappointed when it finally comes out.

productivity.

i should put something on offbeatscience.com, at least a “coming soon.” but i hate the web and i have no real idea how to get it started. [i ask for help]

anyways, the whole darn site should be up by the end of may, and then all you readers can really judge what kind of designer i am.

here’s another taste of my latest piece from work. i am usually excited to get gallery exhibits cause they become great portfolio pieces, then i got thrown a curveball when they told me to use the following image:

seriously, WTF, right?

but check out the final product: front. back.

i think it all worked out in the end, after three hours of frustration in the beginning of it all…

as i was saying, all my work should be up on offbeatscience.com EVENTUALLY. i will happily announce it when the time comes.

OHH, and i shit out my first silkscreen for my advanced silkscreening class today, finally. HAHA, one down, seven to go, six weeks left in the semester. i can do it.

it started as a group campaign for a design class last sem, i was in charge of the poster. i decided to screen it, check that out too: demand better.

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