kate+speaks

i think i need to go back to church.

i’m not saying that to be funny. i swear i’m not. even though i think it sounds like i’m writing it out loud to be funny, i’m really not.

ok. i’m serious.

really, i need to go back to church.

someone needs to come out with a “real church” where when they say something you can actually comment with: “thats the realest shit i’ve ever heard, why didn’t anyone say that before?”

over the past few years i’ve had a hard time distinguishing what i should listen to and what sounds like bullshit. in the middle of it all i’ve just lost most of my sense of religion. my faith is strong, ask me about my faith and i have plenty to say. but i’ve gotten lost when it comes to organized religion. i’m catholic because of generations and generations of traditions, and because the spanish conquered my people, other than that i have no idea why i am catholic. i’m definitely christian, other than that… i just don’t know anymore.

on a journey…….

shut up. don’t laugh. i’m serious.

there is a pair of aqua pumps somewhere in the financial district of sf that i am still lamenting on. i saw them on my 6 year anniversary date with the man in a store window (it was a dsw-type-store). the store was closed but still, he told me they were out of my budget. i told him i’ve paid $60 for shoes before, he still told me they were too expensive. ugh. i shouldn’t have listened to him… should’ve went back to the store the next day.

speaking of the unatainable… robin thicke is performing in oakland on august 31st. i would looooove to go. except the tickets are hella expensive because diva-beyonce is the main act. i’m sure she’s a great entertainer, but i only want to hear him live. ONLY. i think i secretly love him. not him, but something about him, i think i love the endorphins i get when i hear his music. i think he has the capabilities of making women melt. if jeff were a rich man i would tell him to buy me tickets as a birthday gift, then we’d leave after robin’s set was done. [ahem. ahem. ahem] jk. only crazy people would buy $80 tickets to see the opening act. DAMN YOU ROBIN THICKE, i will catch you and your boy legend one of these days, eventually………

earlier some crack-head cashier lady at target (i’m usually much nicer but you’ll hear my story and you will agree) asked me if i was “the mom” of jeff and his 18-year-old cousin abby. it doesn’t bother me that she some-what thought i was a middle aged woman, cause i know for damn sure that i look about 20 years old. it bothers me that she was on some form of crack while asking me that question. she obviously did not look at my face or listen to my voice even though i was basically the only one making conversation with her.

i look 20 and i sound 16.

stupid fucking crack ass lady.

so i’m jobless and back at home in the bay. how typical is that of a recent college grad? how cliche.

anyways for once in my life i welcome the uncertainty that i am going to encounter over the next half-decade or so.

things i miss about sacto:

1. the house, having our own place to claim as our own. i get so bored in milpitas, just because i can’t do whatever i want here. i stay asleep until lunchtime cause i don’t have anything to do, and i have nowhere to go. when you have your own place you don’t mind staying home cause you can do whatever the hell you want. you can blast a movie in the living room. you can blast music at 1am. you can cook your own dinner. lets face it though, the best thing about living away was living with the man. when we put on a movie at 2am one of us didn’t have to go home. if i cooked a meal, it was for two of us. there was no one we had to consider but eachother.

2. knowing where to eat. yes i grew up down here in the south bay, but i only really started discovering things (like places to see/eat/go) after i left home. in sacto you absolutely have to drive to get what you want. when you live in a place like milpitas you really don’t want to leave the city just to get food. there is a huge difference between “milpitas miles” and “sacramento miles.”

my most favorites:

betos – chicken fajita plates, californias, or “h” breakfast burritos. freeport bakery – crack is their no. 1 ingredient, best cupcakes i’ve ever had, beats sf, beats nyc, but everything is seriously great. bangkok garden – best neighborhood thai EVER. saigon restaurant – best pho, no joke. gunthers – neighborhood ice cream. leatherbys – best peanut butter chocolate ice cream created. nishikis – default date dinners with the man. fujis – $12 all you can eat sushi buffet, i don’t even need to explain

3. independence / freedom / privacy / etc etc.

cause i have a sense of humor….

today is my last day at work. =( they even took me to lunch yesterday. i’ve had a great run there though… time to grow up and out.

i’m almost at 300 reviews on yelp. i could probably be there, but i haven’t been at it as much. this is my most recent:

wth is “PINKBERRY!?” i’ve read about it for about 5 million times on yelp. apparently its some sour frozen yogurt where you can pick the toppings and its relatively low in calories–dessert wise that is. i was planning to try it during a trip to LA but it never happened. i neeeeeed to see what all the hype is about, there are a hell of a lot of skeptics as well as fanatics, still its HYPE and i need to find my own opinion on it. i will probably think its overrated, just like “beard papas cream puffs.” boo, nothing but a regular cream puff to me.

the moms & pops are exploring nyc this upcoming weekend. i made their itinerary, they’re seeing about everything jeff and i didn’t visit: rockefeller center, empire state building, the statue of liberty, etc. etc. i also helped them buy tickets for michael buble (sp?) at the oakland coliseum. they were so excited but too late to buy tickets when they found out. i had to find them some pricey re-sales off of some third party company online. but its official, i’m their events planner. moms & pops are funny, i hope they like nyc.

in some career-related news one of my portfolio reviewers (from the aiga portfolio day last month) finally got back to me and actually asked for some work samples to show her boss, looks like they’re crazy swamped with work and might be looking for some extra help. no hopes up, its great she even considered me for something like that. they produce award-winning shit, and its one of those places i’d love to be in 5 years, intimidating as hell. still, i would jump at the opportunity if they present it. i need a job and it would be beautiful if it were a highly respected studio out of sf.

SO…

i finished harry potter book 7 within 28 hours since i got the book at its midnight release.

its complete madness. MADDNESS I TELL YOU. the man should be finishing it up as i type this. finally… someone to talk to.

i have so much to say but its best i say nothing at all on here. damn the spoilers right?

i hate how i think i don’t have any clothes to wear, when in reality–its that i just have nothing NEW to wear. i hate how i’m always waiting to eat. i hate how i don’t care how i sit so at the end of the day my clothes are completely wrinkled. i hate how i have no patience to wear high heels, except on certain occassions, and i could totally use the help of a few inches of some height. i hate how clothes are always better a season before consumers are ready, so when you’re looking for a certain thing when you need it–its too late, should’ve bought your summer clothes in the spring if you know what i mean. i hate how forever 21 adds unecessary ugly detail to what-would-be a great piece of clothing. i hate how a $60 pair of shoes i passed up still haunts me when i think about it because they were too expensive for my budget. i hate how i overpack but still forget things. i hate how i have “fat days,” i’m sure all women do. i hate how cute shoes hurt. i hate how bras feel after 8 hours.

i’m about 70% sure that i was hit on last night. the only reason i say this is because its a very rare occurence for me. i was at a pizza joint with the fiance and the guy warming up the slices used my name about 3x, kept making small talk, and eventually asked if the guy with me was my “man.” its very rare, i tell you.