kate+speaks

Clusterfack.

_ I feel a sad emptiness that the wedding is over. Its like the day slipped so quickly between my fingers, I feel like I was barely there, but I’ve never been so happy.
_ I admit that I tried not to cry so at the ceremony, only so I wouldn’t ruin my makeup (damn you vanity!) and because I knew that once I started I wouldn’t be able to stop and I would choke on my words. It wouldn’t be a beautiful and touching cry, as how the man expressed his sentiments, it would’ve been UGLY. It almost came out during my thank you speech, but I managed to muffle it.
_ I am disappointed that my career has not yet taken off, and here I sit, in between (meaningless) jobs once again.
_ I am frustrated that I only seem to be getting opportunities that are way below my true talent and design capabilities. They waste my time, but they pay money. I always feel underestimated at the end of it all.
_ I’m tired of people leading me on. There is such a thing as “too nice,” I’d rather have folks be real with me more than anything. I can handle “real” and I think I can do just fine.
_ I think this terrible weather has something to do with my gloominess. I feel as if a rain cloud is perpetually hovering above me this week. Plus I’m not even PMSing, I’m no where near that time of the month.

_ Holy crap. I am stuck in a rut, again.

_ On the upside, sometimes I still can’t believe Jeff is my husband. He is more than anything I could put into words right now… If I even tried to describe life and emotions as husband and wife I would sound so unforgivably cheesy. Gahhwd, its a ridiculous amount of overwhelming emotion, and its only dedicated to on person. I mean–I always knew it, always felt it, but to finally have it so finite… its really indescribable, well I guess, unless you’re married yourself. After all this time together, eight years already, this feels like a different kind of love. I can’t explain really, and I don’t think I make any sense at all… but its different, a thousand-million-times-better-different.

_ Thats it… Next public bathroom I visit I’m totally tagging our initials and defacing private (or public) property: “J + K 4EVR” OR I might just run and get a tattoo of his name on my ring finger… whichever… haha.

I LUHHHHHUUUVVV DRAKE

So folks, I’m crushing on a vampire.

I feel pretty ridiculous actually, for some time I have vowed to read the Twilight series. I’m not one to stray away from hype, so of course I had to see for myself what all the hype was about. That is just my nature in general, along with my type-A personality, I have a need to know if hype is all it seems to be. I asked for a copy of Twilight for xmas, so this has been on my list of things-to-do for a while now. I have talked with many smitten readers and a handful of non-believers (none who have really invested in the saga) and I’ve had my theories about the hype for a few months. I told everyone I would get to reading the first book after the wedding was done. Well the wedding is done and the bulk of my time which was dedicated to planning has now opened up, I ended up reading the first book in two days. I just finished the second book in three days. I have read about a thousand pages since Wednesday, we only got back a week ago.

I am hooked, but let me explain… Its a completely different fascination than the world of Harry Potter, to be honest I don’t really believe that Twilight fans were Harry Potter fans. I believe they are a completely different brand of readers. I have come to think that there really is no need to compare Harry Potter and the Twilight Saga, sure they are both surrounded by crazed fans and heavy hype, but they fulfill completely different purposes.

The world of Harry Potter is magical, adventurous and new, how a single woman created that world out of thin air still amazes me. Twilight, somehow manages to turn everyone into a 16 year old girl crushing on their first love, crushing ridiculously hard, waiting for the perfect and charming boy to say all the right words, appear exactly at the right time, kiss her exactly at the right moment, and save her at just the right time. Twilight will get you SMITTEN, to the point where you reminisce about young love and feeling heartache for the first time. Its fairly easy reading (which is why I went through so many pages so fast) and there is no action in the books until you reach about 400 pages into them, they are SLOWWW. Its actually pretty freaking corny, Notebook corny even. Apparently vampires and werewolves know how to say all the right things.

Yeah, I’m crushing on a vampire, its the only reason I have the urgency to read-Read-READ. I am addicted to the way Edward Cullen is protective, suave, and so perfect (except the fact he is a vampire). I am a sucker for love stories and Twilight is just that… plus vampires and werewolves, of course.

I have a mean cough going on right now. I somehow caught it while leaving the islands. I haven’t had a true cough in a long time. Here’s a confession: When I was a kid I used to swig Dimetapp (grape flavor) for fun, even at times I wasn’t sick. I just asked the Mr. to get me some Dimetapp, although the last time I swigged it was pretty darn foul, don’t know what I was thinking back then.

Fantastical Things about Hawaii:

_ Li Hing Mui Sour Watermelon Candy: holy crap I am glad I listened to that haole lady at Longs Drugs who told me to buy these.
_ Zippy’s: I love your endless menu and ridiculous combinations of foodstuffs that should never be mixed together. Chili Mac = white rice covered by a layer of special mayo sauce, covered by Zippy’s official chili, covered by hamburger steak, covered by two sunnyside eggs–it is completely ridiculous, but I love it so much.
_ Mac Salad: A useless carb side dish, but ohh so necessary.
_ Hawaiian Shortbread: The only “hard” cookies I enjoy consuming.
_ Fruit Punch (and other Hawaiin Sun products): Empty calories yet delicious and so refreshing.
_ Rum-based alcoholic sweet cocktails: The only time it is ever really acceptable to drink something with a paper umbrella.
_ AHI POKE: One of the greatest loves of my life. I would eat you EVERY SINGLE DAY if I lived on the islands.
_ Garlic Shrimp: Gut bomb, greasy as hell, unhealthy, but no one cares…. its that good.
_ Malasadas: Perfect fried dough, perfect….
_ Melona shave ice with azuki beans and vanilla ice cream: Hhhhheaaaaaven.
_ Kalua Pork: The only location I eat pork is Hawaii, its because of that smoked goodness.

Ok. Ok, aside from food….

_ Actually being able to swim in the Pacific Ocean, day or night.
_ The perpetual summer weather.
_ The ability to keep my brown skin–brown. Trust me, brown people love their tans too.
_ The natural hospitality.
_ The sunsets.
_ The coconut trees.
_ The cool breezes.
_ The amazing backdrop.

Ahh… Hawaii, I miss you terribly.