Dear thief,
I hope what little you received will help you out in whatever desperate and pathetic situation you are in. You should have just stole my entire bag, I would be able to handle the loss better than my sister. She has no positive perspective on things, she shouldn’t have been a victim. I would have sacrificed myself and my belongings, just so you didn’t have to bother her. FUCK YOU for that one. While we’re at it… fuck you for everything. Fuck you for ruining our entire night. Fuck you for taking my phone, better yet, fuck you for taking the phone encased in the stupid plastic case I bought in Honolulu while I was on my honeymoon. Who knew some stupid piece of plastic meant so much to me? Fuck you for angering my husband so much that he can’t possibly function. Fuck you for having me call my parents at 1:30 am for warning them that my sister’s keys and ID were stolen, I hated to involve them, but you caused so much fucking trouble. Fuck you for making me so upset that my body is shaking. For what? For an iphone and maybe $100? Fuck you for ruining my birthday. 26 is so bitter.