kate+speaks

Please let my husband live a full, low-cholesterol, heart disease-free life, even when he eats stupid shit like this:

So I’m fully aware how much I bitch about this. I’d just like to further reiterate all the steps and time I have to take not to mention the dough I gotta dish out, AS A WOMAN.

_ $27 / Mail order from home: Order three new copies of our marriage license (of which my new name is already declared)
_ Free / 10 Minutes: Go out to SS office (when it opens, no wait/little wait time, but only right when it opens) to get my name changed
_ $25 / 2 hours: I made an appt for a new DL but it was so far out ahead and I had the day off so I went and just took care of it at the DMV. Getting it out of the way cost 2 hours of my time. MAKE THE APPT if you can!!!
_ $100 / $7.99 / Mail order from home: FUGGING NEW PASSPORT + Photos
_ 30 minutes: Going to the bank to change the name on all my accounts and close my own personal accounts
_ 30 minutes: Call my credit card to change my name
_ Unknown amount of time: Call insurance companies, change tax forms, utilities, misc. memberships, voter registration… yadda Yadda YADDA…

I would STFU if this was something both sexes underwent, but since it is usually just us females I’m going to stay vocal about this.

P.S. Hell yes, this is why I hyphenated. ;-p

Today I will attempt to change my photo and address at the DMV, again. I failed the first time and spent an hour putting on contacts and make-up for a picture that was never even taken (I went on a furlough day). Luckily I wasn’t vain enough to think that a DL photo warranted the need for false lashes. Almost did though… almost did….

Stuff straight men should not say and/or do:

- Say “tummy,” unless they are talking to their five-year-old kid.
- Type “hehehe.” Grown men don’t giggle, don’t giggle on an electronic level.
- Say “yummy,” unless they are talking to their five-year-old kid.
- Order a bitch drink. Its ok if you’re lounging in a hammock in Jamaica or Tahiti, just don’t order it at a sports bar or Dave N’ Busters.

This is only a fraction of the list. I can’t think at the moment. And No, “watching Anne Hatheway or Lindsey Lohan movies” does not equate onto this list. I’m making an exception there, cause I’m pretty sure I could get a hard ass dude, like Method Man, to watch “The Devil Wears Prada,” but he would never use the word “yummy” or type “hehe” on his FB status, while ordering a pina colada.

I’m terrible sometimes. Then again, I carry a pair of testicles in my purse cause I wasn’t born with them.

The solution to our no BYOB cruise!

Going to smuggle it in with these babies:

I found these mentioned ALL OVER cruise message boards. If you google “rum runners” the first hit you will get is “sneak alcohol on cruise.”

Shame on me right? =p

I was getting ridiculously excited researching our anniversary cruise by checking out the various things to do at each of the ports. Ridiculously excited, I had to step away from the laptop to stop and breathe. Swear.

HOWEVER, reality all came crashing down when the website told me I couldn’t bring bottles of liquor onboard the ship, and if I did—they would be confiscated and returned at departure time.

WTF? NO BYOB?

We’re not balling enough to throw down money on plain ol’ liquor. That’s just wrong. Even if I became a millionaire I would still pre-party and the husband would still shove a flask down his pants.

What to do…. so I’m googling it, cause best believe… we aren’t the first people to try to sneak this shit.

The studio has been slow so I haven’t been in for most of the week. I’m still hourly (for now), so no work = no pay. Gah. Also, the newly booked anniversary trip has taken a chunk of our cheddar.

SO… the Mr. and I are in “famine” mode. As designers whose pay that has the ability to flux we go through the usual moments of “feasts and famines.” Right now, its time to tighten our belts. It doesn’t stop me from online window shopping though.

One Strap Bikini Tops – Raise your hand if you think this will give me a dumb ass tan though. Yeah…. but in this case I will have to take form over function. Its too damn cute, and I don’t EVER say things like that.

Elastic/Stretch Sandals – If you asked me three years ago what I thought about gladiator sandals I would tell you that I thought there were the fugliest fashion choice anyone could make (the UGGs of the summertime, I thought…). But I caught on… and I caught on with lust instead. I need a pair of these.

Short Rompers – Which are not tubes or spaghetti straps. This one retails for $49, its about $35 over my budget. HAHA.

I swear… If I only had the dough:

Apparently this beast retails for $16k. Shit.

I have the pleasure of living in a beautiful city with dozens upon dozens of different restaurants to peruse. Its like a culinary haven, we eat so well.

In efforts to add more visual stimuli to this blog, and with the newfound realization that I ALWAYS have a digicam with me (why have I forgotten about the power and potential of my iphone?), I’ll be sharing a lot more photos on here, mainly of the food I am so fortunate to consume, and places I get to visit.

Yee.

Last night the man and I celebrated 9 months married at Beretta.

Beretta – Italian joint, Mission District: $$
Beretta SF

Excuse this first round of photos, the restaurant’s ambiance is basically set to “dark candlelight,” its a great date spot, especially if you’re able to avoid the long communal table and cop a two-seater. PLUS, the food is ahhhmayyyyzzzzing.

Frito misto antipasti & roasted asparagus with a poached fried egg

Neapolitan-style spicy Italian sausage pizza with an egg

If you’ve never had a freshly cracked sunny side up egg on a neapolitan-style pizza you have something to add onto your bucket list. I swear. When the yolk breaks over your slice, its heaven. Trust. Trust. Trust.

Have you ever wondered when your significant other’s habits and opinions become your own? Its like somewhere along your journey together, you just seem to meld effortlessly. I’m not saying we each lose our own individual thoughts and philosophies, I’m just saying… when the hell did I pick up these new ideas and routines? I guess its all a subconscious portion of the “process.”

For example, changes I’ve experienced and can fully blame on the MR:

- I need coffee 5/7 days a week, at least half a cup in the morning. If I don’t get it my eyes will be drooping by 10 am. Lucky I’m still not a crazy fiend, and I don’t need more than that at any other point in the day. Ohh, and Mr. Coffee connoisseur also let me know what a good ass cup tastes like.

- I can probably never go to a stadium concert ever again, at least not by paying for the ticket. For this reason alone I will probably never see Jigga man live, ever. The husband has gotten me to believe that live music should be enjoyed in smaller venues, and if you have to sit in an assigned seat—its probably a downhill experience from there. I don’t blame him though, I’ve completely come to agree with his viewpoints on this.

- I feel crazy guilt if I get up after 10:30am, even on the weekends. I’ve expressed my wishes at becoming a morning person at least a dozen times on this blog, so I can thank the man for this new habit.

…as far as how many pieces of me have molded onto him, we’d have to ask him about that…